Attila the Pun
Saturday, April 24, 2004
Queen of the forest
Police in New York have spent 4 hours trying to talk a semi-naked gay couple out of a tree.
What did these would-be squirells look like?
Police described the two as a 32-year-old man with "feminine breasts", who was dressed in a purple thong, and a 17-year-old boy in boxer shorts.
I shall leave the construction of that mental image up to you dear reader. But in this day and age, can you automatically assume a guy with manboobs in a purple thong hanging out with a young boy in his underwear is gay?
Witnesses told police that the couple had engaged in oral sex while in the branches of the tree.
Oh. Apparently this left somewhat of a sour taste in the mouth however, as:
At one point a policeman handed the 32-year-old a soft drink, which he promptly threw to the ground, shouting: "This is Coke. I wanted vanilla Diet Pepsi."
Pepsi - dump Britney and Enrique and sign up ManBoob and BoxerBoy as your spokescouple instead!
The couple were admitted to hospital for psychiatric evaluation when they finally ending the standoff.
You don't say..
UPDATE: As an aside - how bad is the editing in that piece? I fixed one error in the first bit I quoted, but "when they finally ending the standoff" is pretty piss-poor.
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