Attila the Pun
Friday, April 16, 2004
Kidnapped by fictional characters

I smell a rat, and it's rodent name is Donna Mulheam. The former 'human shield' is claiming that she was recently kidnapped in Iraq. Her story stinks to high heaven, as does the Age reporting of it.

First up is her description as an "Australian aid worker". No organisation name was supplied. The Age doesn't mention her previous career as a pawn, err shield, but surprisingly the Sydney Morning Herald does.

The Age also descibes her supposed kidnappers as "Mujahadeen". That phrase still has some resonance from the days of the Russian occupation of Afghanistan. With all the dispute over whether the attackers should be called militia, terrorists, insurgents, scum, this was an odd choice for the Age to settle on. Umm, not that odd actually.

She also claims that "while undertaking the humanitarian work before she was captured, she and her three colleagues were shot at four times by US soldiers while trying to take an ambulance full of medical aid to a clinic." Which of course is impossible to verify. At least she didn't trot out the "US snipers targetting civilians" line.

Oops - "the worst form of attack was the US snipers hiding on rooftops who kill hundreds of civilians as they tried to move about the city". The problem with morons who will believe anything about the US military is that they assume we will automatically believe it too. Hey - I wonder if there were any US Marine snipers at Jenin?

He credibility then takes another battering:

"When they saw that we were frightened and that we really (were) doing our best to explain ourselves and what we were doing in Fallujah, they said to us 'Look, don't worry too much. We are Muslims and we can't hurt you. We are not violent and we won't hurt you and we won't touch you'."

I dont think the 'not touching you' bit can really be put down to religion - more good taste i would suspect. The line about not being allowed to hurt her because they are Muslims is also comedy gold. I guess the 911 attackers or the Bali bombers were Hindus posing as Muslims then?

The purpose of this fantasy story soon becomes apparent - "I realised quickly that my prime minister, John Howard, had placed me in great danger by making inflammatory comments about the war just a few days ago,"

Assuming any of this is even remotely true - I may believe she is in Iraq, but that is about it - to claim that once you have been kidnapped by armed men, it is comments by the PM that place you in danger, rather than the guy standing behind you with an AK-47, shows the sheer lunacy of those opposed to the Iraq invasion. Ms Mulheam is on an extended vacation from reality, with an eager media reading and reporting her postcards

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