Attila the Pun
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
Fish in a barrel

Harry Heidelberg is a Webdiary tosser.

He starts off relatively sane:

Air Force One is a powerful symbol of the 228 year old institution of the American presidency, a symbol of a power that is literally projected around the globe. Nowhere is the technological, political and ideological prowess of the United States better encapsulated.

Though you could dispute that - a McDonalds in the streets of Tehran or Moscow would sum it up rather nicely as well I think, but points to Harry for not frothing at the mouth right from the get-go.

Harry isn't shy about nailing his colours to the mast. He states with awe that:

I was on the tarmac at Sydney airport in 1996 when President Clinton arrived.

or that

The most tragic case of Air Force One removing power was in 1963, when it carried the corpse of John F. Kennedy from Dallas back to Washington

and no points for what is going to come after this:

The Nixon presidency was another American tragedy.

Hmm, anybody think this might be leading up to *gasp* Bush? I wont spoil the surprise yet, and neither will Harry, because first he has to let us see what goes on in the head of a webdiarist when the lights are low on a night made for lurve...

I once fantasised about being in Washington to see President Dean inaugurated.

Yuck, I think I need a shower after reading that. Unfortunately for Harry, reality, and the fact that Dean was a looney, hit his fantasy on the head like a giant cold spoon. Harry knows this, and admits:

That will never happen now. My more mundane fantasy now is closer to reality.

Getting a real job? Washing regularly? err, no:

My dream is of the day when President Bush passes over Kansas City Center on his way to Crawford, Texas. The radio will crackle "This is Kansas City Center; your designation changes from Air Force One to regular flight 6294 past this point". The subtext: "You are now a nobody".

You really need to get better dreams Harry, these current ones blow. Nonetheless, Hazza gets on a roll:

It will bring closure to another American tragedy - the George W. Bush presidency. Almost ironically, it will also be a symbol of America's strength - the peaceful transition of power.

You mean like in a democracy? You mean like in the system of government that the US is trying to install in Iraq? You mean like the type of government that doesn't exist in places like Castro's Cuba that people like Harry worship?

This man, who is probably not the legitimate President of the United States, will return to where he belongs.

"probably not"? wtf? what is the point of being a frothy mouthed tinfoil hat wearer, if you go round pretending to be reasonable by saying 'probably not'?

He ends on a poignant, rather nauseating note:

Then, perhaps, the rest of us can hold out some very small hope of a better world. I'd rather a small hope than none at all. My dreams are now more modest, but I hold onto them nevertheless.

"we are the world, we are the children..."

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